Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
