i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
