It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize