Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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