I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
