people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
