from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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