Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
