dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
