I think I died a long time ago.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
