New low: just hacked my moms facebook
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize