So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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