What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
