Cold hands, warm shart.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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