I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
