My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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