sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
