You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
