the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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