Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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