i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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