btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
where does the pee come out of this thing
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
