have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
