i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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