I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
