dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
