You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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