i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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