It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
