Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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