I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
