I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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