Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
