apparently the secret to your success is patron
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
