Your mouth is God's brothel.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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