party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize