is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She bit a glass in half.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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