We're facebook friends in real life
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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