Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
