My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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