Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize