This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
