i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
50% drunk capacity currently
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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