And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
