Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
