part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
