Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
