Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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