therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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