PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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