His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
