A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
