Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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