ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
