i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
