I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
