Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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