i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
