Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
