I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
