There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
