Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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