How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
