when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
