so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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