We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we should paint friendship bongs
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