TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize