the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well, you know. whores of a feather.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
