Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
