I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
