i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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