if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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