I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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