Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
