if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
